April 19, 2012

Calamity at the Coke Museum

I almost went to the ER in Atlanta.

That kinda sounds like the title of an unsuccessful Country song.

I was visiting a friend who doesn't like to be referenced on the internet, so we'll call him Cory. Cory was living in Atlanta working in an industrial parts company.


This is what I imagined him doing each day:

For some reason, I pictured everything at his job being in black and white. I actually think it kinda was. Once while he was there, a co-worker threw up on himself and then asked Cory what he should do. Cory said that he should go home and change clothes.

The main thing I wanted to do in Atlanta (and the main reason I even went) was to go to the Coke Museum. I absolutely love soda. I mean, I'm bonkers about it. (To read about the complications this has caused, click here.)

The Coke museum was all I could think about beforehand. 

The night before, I found it hard to sleep.

When we got there, I was in a state of all out panic about getting unlimited samples. I was sincerely afraid some important machine part would break and they would have to close it down. I lost all sense of decorum.

Just before I became completely unhinged, we reached the soda room. It was heaven.

I began to furiously drink all the soda.

Cory and I drank so much soda, we had to sit down and take a breather. Despite the discomfort of millions of bubbles expanding the walls of our stomachs, we went back in for more. It wasn't even enjoyable at a certain point, but that didn't stop us.

When we couldn't take it anymore, I drank a few more samples and then we waddled off to the car. That's when things went really wrong.

I literally had to lay down in the back seat as my stomach felt like it was about to burst inside my peritoneal cavity. I was actually pretty scared.

At one point, Cory and I considered whether or not I needed to go to the ER. We were really close to doing it when I decided I didn't want to deal with insurance and the co-pay.

Fortunately, the pain subsided about an hour later and I lived. Interestingly, the bubbles had expanded my stomach so much that I became ravenous and ended up eating a full order of Chinese take-out and a half of a baked chicken.

I didn't learn any lessons from any of this.


Anna Marie said...

I've never met anyone who loves soda as much as you do.

Jordie said...

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.