Calamity at the Coke Museum

I almost went to the ER in Atlanta.

That kinda sounds like the title of an unsuccessful Country song.

I was visiting a friend who doesn't like to be referenced on the internet, so we'll call him Cory. Cory was living in Atlanta working in an industrial parts company.

BORING!

This is what I imagined him doing each day:

 

For some reason, I pictured everything at his job being in black and white. I actually think it kinda was. Once while he was there, a co-worker threw up on himself and then asked Cory what he should do. Cory said that he should go home and change clothes.

The main thing I wanted to do in Atlanta (and the main reason I even went) was to go to the Coke Museum. I absolutely love soda. I mean, I'm bonkers about it. (To read about the complications this has caused, click here.)

The Coke museum was all I could think about beforehand. 

The night before, I found it hard to sleep.

When we got there, I was in a state of all out panic about getting unlimited samples. I was sincerely afraid some important machine part would break and they would have to close it down. I lost all sense of decorum.

Just before I became completely unhinged, we reached the soda room. It was heaven.

I began to furiously drink all the soda.

Cory and I drank so much soda, we had to sit down and take a breather. Despite the discomfort of millions of bubbles expanding the walls of our stomachs, we went back in for more. It wasn't even enjoyable at a certain point, but that didn't stop us.

When we couldn't take it anymore, I drank a few more samples and then we waddled off to the car. That's when things went really wrong.

I literally had to lay down in the back seat as my stomach felt like it was about to burst inside my peritoneal cavity. I was actually pretty scared.

At one point, Cory and I considered whether or not I needed to go to the ER. We were really close to doing it when I decided I didn't want to deal with insurance and the co-pay.

Fortunately, the pain subsided about an hour later and I lived. Interestingly, the bubbles had expanded my stomach so much that I became ravenous and ended up eating a full order of Chinese take-out and a half of a baked chicken.

I didn't learn any lessons from any of this.